I am god's Emissary
A week had passed and Mr. Marshall made his way to the office of his inquisitor once again. The escort was a young aide, already bored with his job, his chances of advancement, his choices, his life. Leading him to the door, he knocked gently and responded to the request to enter. The aide opened the door and allowed his charge to walk before him. He came in behind. as the Doctor looked up and told him, "Jake, that's fine. You can leave us now." The aide turned, glad perhaps that he would be left to his own thoughts, delights and perhaps demons as well for the next hour.
An almost identical chair had been brought into the room and was placed at a right angle to the line between the desk and the chair where Mr. Marshall normally sat. In the new chair sat a middle aged man with round spectacles wearing a polo shirt and khakis. He stood and shook hands, introducing himself as Monsignor Jacob Amherst. They both sat, and the Monsignor then requested that he be called just Jake.
"I can do that Jake, I'm glad you're not attempting to influence me with any sort of references to your position."
Jake looked at the man and gently asked, "Well, I'm sure you already knew that wouldn't happen though."
Mr. Marshall stared back at him a moment then said, "Jake, I talk to god, I'm not any sort of a fortune teller that predicts the future." And with that he sort of wiggled his fingers around.
"Aahh, yes." And he nodded his head repeatedly. "Why don't you start at the beginning, when did you actually first meet with God. Doctor Anderson wasn't certain of the actual events and how this came about, she says you just sort of glossed over that part. Why don't you tell me exactly what happened."
"Okay Jake. Doc, sorry if we didn't go into the specifics, maybe it's just that you were a bit shocked with the entire revelation of my account, but we can certainly go into it now. It all started about three years ago when I was taken to the ER because I was unable to breathe. I took a whole lot of breathing treatments, they put me on oxygen, shot me full of a bunch of stuff and finally did a CAT scan on me and told me I had six blood clots in my lungs. Four in the left and two in the right. I was told that they would try to dissolve them with medication, but that a large part of my lung tissue would suffer and be damaged because of lack of blood flow. They also told me that as the clots dissolved, the chance of one breaking free and going to my brain and causing a massive stroke was highly probable, and that because there were six, it was an almost certainty."
Looking at the two inquisitors he could se that they were both entranced with the story. "So they moved my bed over to be nearer to the nurse's station and put the monitors on me and told me they had a crash cart next to me should I have a stroke. There was a possibility they could revive me and deal with damages later. Wow, didn't look too good for me. Well, according to the doctors anyway. So I lay back in bed and thought about dying. I assume most people would in that situation. I thought about the biblical concepts, and as I had most of my life, I rejected those. I thought about reincarnation, and hoped for the best. So, with a new outlook, I lay back and just for the first time in my life, I was at peace, and I stopped the internal dialogue within myself. I don't know how much of our conversations the good doctor here has told you Jake, but that was a big part of several books by a native American anthropologist back in the sixties and seventies."
"Go ahead Roy, I'm familiar with the concept, both from Marie here and having read up on the subject in the past couple weeks."
"Well, that's good, it saves me from explaining background material. So anyway, here I was, lying in bed, and I found myself without any thoughts. None. And then, there appeared this apparition there on the foot of my bed. Not human, not animal, certainly not flames nor a horned beast. Just sort of humanesque if that is or can be a concept. I was in this huge room divided by just hanging curtains, and there was this thing. I looked at the monitor, my blood oxygen was at 92, which was actually rising, so I knew it wasn't anoxia causing the apparition. My heart was doing the same things it had been doing, and I began to think thoughts again wondering what this was. It was then that god spoke to me, and as I answered, god sort of shushed me and told me to just think, and god would understand. Well, you can imagine what was going through my mind, here I am thinking I might, well, the doctors were pretty certain I would die, and here I am confronted with something that would happen if indeed I did die. Then god, well, empathically, psychically or whatever, told me I wasn't going to die. That I wasn't to concern myself with such thoughts and that god had plans for me so the problems would be taken care of. If I had any presence of mind I would have asked god to take care of the hip problems as well, but, at that time it didn't occur to me."
"Have you asked God to correct that lately?" Jake asked.
"Yeah, well, I have. And god just sort of laughs about that. Not necessary."
"Well the performance of miracles and of course healing the sick and infirm are just some of the things that Christ has done and for which we are blessed with the governance from God."
"Well look Jake, I think part of the problem we are going to have here is that you have to understand that to god, Christianity is a human construct. The fact is, god isn't a Christian, god is just god. All religions, especially Christianity, were devised by humans for humans for a variety of purposes. And the true purpose is not necessarily the one you were told."
The Monsignor sat back in his chair and looked completely shocked by this last statement. Or perhaps it was just the realization that it was all true. A moment or two later, he relaxed and leaned forward again with another question, "I see. I will take you word for it as something that you believe, and we can continue from there."
Reaching into his back pocket, the man pulled out a folded piece of yellow legal pad and handed it over. He watched, feigning interest, but then he wrote it, and knew what it contained. The church leader sat back as he unfolded it, sort of knowing what it would contain having heard the story about a similar revelation from the doctor sitting off to the side. His eyes grew wide as he read the paper. "None of this is true Mr. Marshall, you do know that don't you?"
"Jake, all I do is deliver the message. This is the ultimate test Jake, nothing else matters from here on out, there are no more pretenses, no more hiding behind your faith, your belief that your immortal soul will be saved because of your acceptance of your God into your heart, this is it."
Letting out a huge long sigh, Jake just seemed to deflate back into the chair. He was relieved, that much was plain to see. Doctor Anderson had this look of shock on her face, she was unaware of what had just happened. However her own revelations in just such a similar piece of paper had deflated her world as well. How could this stranger have known about her affairs, her private feelings. It convinced her, and now to see the same happen to one of her closest friends, she was unsure what might have been in his past to cause this reaction from him.
“Jake, can I speak freely now, or do you want the Doc to leave for a minute?”
“No, that’s fine. I,… well, I suppose that’s okay. Go ahead.” Utter acceptance and despair filled his voice as he said this.
“Look Jake, the sin is of your own construct. Having sex with a woman is not a sin with god, on the contrary, god tells me that sex between consenting adults is one of the most glorious things about life here on this plane of existence. Celibacy is a concept of man within the Catholic faith, not of god’s.”
“It goes against all that I believe, the knowledge that I sinned has haunted me for many years.”
“Well Jake, everything we’re going to talk about here today is going to go against your faith. I bring a new idea, a new, well, maybe an older more relevant concept of faith. What you do with it is up to you. I’m just god’s emissary.”
They all just sat for a couple minutes, deep in their own thoughts. Finally the Monsignor folded the paper up and placed it in his pocket. A bit of life came back to him and he smiled, “Okay Mr. Marshall, let’s continue with your story.”
“Well, it goes on from there, I had these conversations, learned a lot, and when I happened to mention that I was talking to god to my family, well, I ended up here. The rest has been my revelations about a method to let the world know about what god has in store for us. As humanity I guess. And my trying to understand the universe and explaining it to the good doctor here. All that has been practice really, a way to position what I learn in a way that humanity can understand it all.”
The doctor now chimed in, “Mr. Marshall, have you asked god about those things we spoke of last time?”
“Yes I did Doc. Those were questions that god thought about for awhile before answering. The first one, is this god the same as the god in the other six planes of existence was one that I think I understand. It’s like this, god is god, god is the voice, the sort of symbolic quintessential ambassador of the Universal Consciousness. Remember that all planes of existence exist together, and as god feels the need to give guidance to us, the individual parts of the collective Universal Consciousness as we exist within the confines of each existence, god appears. So yes, god is the same god in all planes, but not the exact same god. This god has no knowledge of what god is doing in the other planes until god returns to the Universal Consciousness and then is aware of what took place. Remember when we talked and I told you that god knows all that was and all that will be when there, but when here, with us, god is only aware of what was as the past is a known factor for god, well for all of us really; but god cannot know what will happen tomorrow as god is limited to the same constraints of time as we are living here on this plane of existence. Does that make sense?”
Nodding her head, the Doctor looked as though she understood, then she asked, “But then does god go back to the Universal Consciousness and know what will happen in the future then come here to talk to you knowing what will come to pass?”
“I asked god that, and god said that god is here to help me be the emissary and that god is here to make that come to be. There is no other reason for god to return, so god is here. And I also asked about why we talk about our conversations if god knew what had transpired. I was told that the questioning was to help me understand. Not just what we, meaning you and I, talked about, but the path to take to fulfill my destiny as well.”
“Well that answers a big question I had about why you talked about our conversations. The next question though was a big one as well, can we see into the other planes of existence?”
“No, we live here in the third level. We cannot see into the other levels. Even god can’t see what is going on there when god is here with us.”
“Okay, and the last one was are the other planes in this universe with us, elsewhere in the cosmos, or are they separate?”
“That one was a bit more difficult. This planet earth is our guardian, our protector. It lives, it breathes, it exists in this universe for us. The other six planes exist for us, as parts of the vain part of the Universal Consciousness in our path toward Oneness again, but they are all separate. That’s all god would say. So the reality is I don’t know.”
Sitting forward for the first time in some moments, Jake then asked, “So I think I understand, based on what Marie has told me so far. But, well, even with this revelation that you know about my past, I still find it difficult to just throw away the faith to which I have devoted my life. I don't know if you knew the woman in question, I have no idea what happened in your life, all of this sounds interesting and granted I was intrigued by Marie's devotion and the things she has told me, but there is no solid proof for me."
The man looked over at him, then began slowly, "Monsignor, do you have any actual proof that your God exists as stated in your bible? Not just the faith that you hold for long standing beliefs and traditions, covenants and writings of people long since deceased, tales of miracles and stories told and retold over generations. That isn't actual physical proof, it's faith. Faith in all that others have told our ancestors and passed to you simply as a belief system in a God. I'm not telling you anything different, just a new updated storyline. Who knows, probably the same God."
Then the Doctor entered the conversation, "Mr. Marshall, you were supposed to also ask of god if you could meet and converse when you were with us. Did you also ask about that?"
"Yeah Doc, I did. I didn't get a no, god just said to try."
They all sat quietly for a couple minutes as the emissary closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He sighed softly and slowed his breathing and was very quiet. The hum of the hospital appeared to pound through the walls as the two waited. After what seemed an eternity, he opened his eyes and shook his head.
"Mr. Marshall," Jake started, "I know you believe in this, but I need something more. Can you get me some other proof that you are talking to God. We can meet again next week and with that, I would like to ask some more questions as well."
"Sure Jake, I will see what I can do. And ask away."
"Excellent. First, let me ask if others can see and talk to God if they stop the internal dialogue as you did. If that's all it takes, then with the popularity of the books about it I would have thought that there would be a great number of people out there having similar conversations."
The Doctor interrupted then, "Jake, I know you might think it's easy, but I tried years ago and since meeting Mr. Marshall, I've tried daily. With no success. It truly is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do."
"Okay, let's tackle that when and if needed, first we need to know if anyone else can meet God through this method. If not, there's no point in trying. Next, a point you just brought up, is this God the God of the bible?"
"Well Jake, I think we covered that in my first conversation with the Doc here. There have been many prophets, god says there is a need it seems to return and find a new one every once in a while as we seem as humans not to be living the lives of balance needed to pass through this plane to get to the next."
"You're right, I remember her telling me that now. But then again, ask God if there are others that converse with him and you're the only one that he chose to be the new prophet or are you the only one talking with him."
"Good question Jake, what else?"
"Mr. Marshall, are you aware of a man named John Wheeler?"
"Right, Wheeler did the math and came up with an equation that solved the quantum expression of the universe, except the equation would only work if time was static. As if there was no time itself. In your explanation of the universe where the entire universe is made from the individual light beings of the Universal Consciousness you told Marie that to them the past present and future exist together. Would you look up John Wheeler and read about his theory and then ask God if this would explain why his solution left out time?"
"Hmmm, I find that in itself to be fascinating. I will do that right away. What else?"
"If this is indeed God, and although I understand God did not create the heaven and the earth in the biblical manner that I am accustomed to knowing, and as you said God prevented you from dying, is it possible for God to appear and perform miracles for you to help guide public confidence in your new paradigm for this new religion?"
"That one is indeed the most helpful one for me. I did ask god to part the sea for me when I was ready with the book, but god just sort of laughed. I should push that one a bit."
Just then a knock came at the door and the aide came in. The emissary stood, shook the hand of the Monsignor and left to go back to his room.