An Epiphany

I've been looking over my blog here these past few days, getting all excited about the milestone that is nearing so rapidly.  20,000 hits is coming soon, and it feels good.  As I look over the things that I have written over the past year, I had an epiphany.  As I reviewed virtually all of the titles and think about the concepts that I have written about, I realized everything that I wrote, is right and correct.  Sounds odd, but the epiphany was more to do with the world about me than it was just a confirmation that what I believe is infallible, inerrant and righteous.  My epiphany was that other humans believe the same thing.  And that is the part that scares many people, that those humans that stand on street corners dressed in rags and are holding signs begging for money, or the pictures of starving children in various countries that weigh thirty pounds or so, or the people born blind, or missing limbs, or what ever other horrific tragedies befall humans throughout here at home and across the globe; all of them have self awareness.  Each human mind out there believes themselves to be right.

That is a difficult concept to accept.  How can the lowliest most miserable humans on this planet have the same self awareness as I?  And of course there is also the belief that it isn't possible for all those lowly humans out there NOT to believe what I do. How CAN THEY not believe what I do, I mean I am RIGHT about EVERYTHING!!!!  Well, let's be realistic for a moment, I admit I don't know everything, otherwise I would be the new champion on Jeopardy.  It is impossible for any one person to know everything.  That is except my ex, she knew everything, and she let me know it daily, hourly, minute by minute.  And when I questioned her supreme knowledge, horrific consequences were bestowed upon my person.  I guess we were at an impasse as both of us completely and totally believed that we, ourselves, were in fact right.  A paradox, not just in my horrible marriage, but in life itself as I find that pretty much everyone feels the same.  That they indeed, are right.  A paradox, let's face it, not everyone can be right all the time.  There of course is an answer, it lies within my own concept and belief in the Universe.  It just is hard to accept.

A few years back, my very dear friend and exquisitely beautiful person Key, took me to Deeksha.  She felt I needed it.  Sex is a great restorer of faith in oneself, but it doesn't cure one of all the hatred and pent up misery that resides within one's subconscious.  Key recognized that, and took me on my path toward Oneness.  I know I talk about the ex a lot here, and it is in fact meant to be a bit of humor in a sort of Henny Youngman way, "Take my wife, Please!"  And of course there is the very sad reality of the relationship that when I tell people what she actually did to me they are in awe as to how someone could do those things, and wonder how I could ever have remained with her after that first year.  But, I don't think I could have joked about that weird abusive relationship until I found Oneness.  Previously when I talked or even thought about her, it was pure hatred at her and what she did to me.  After the second time at Deeksha, that hatred, that absolute total desire to choke the lying abusive bitch to death completely left me.  And I was then able to joke about it all.  And believe it or not, it came from Deeksha.  This process is the weirdest, goofiest, most incredibly obtuse and convoluted concept I could ever have imagined.  People touch my head, and draw out the bad spirits and allow me to find inner peace.  Criminy, I am a realist, and thought that this was all a bunch of hooey.  Now comes the weird part, I had also read books about the seer Edgar Cayce in my youth and felt that his readings about the nature of the Universe were in fact not just logical, but they were believable and made perfect sense.  Now, with the Givers through Deeksha, I lost my hatred, and actually began to think about my existence and not just my, but every one's part of the Universal Existence.   

Edgar tells us that we are made up of the Universal constant, light.  We, as thinking cognizant beings, are all part of the basic Universal goodness and that in the quest for Oneness, those beings in this existence, are in fact still part of the whole, the Universal Consciousness.  We, as individuals, share part of that Oneness, and in that, we have that cognizance of Oneness and that manifests itself as a conscious knowledge of good.  We all seek good, and we all are aware of Oneness on a subconscious level, and there lies our belief in one's self.  It's that subconscious knowledge that we are all part of the same.  Unfortunately it is the conscious part or our existence here that makes the decisions that govern not just our lives in this existence, but determine how we further the Universal Goodness as a whole in our next plane of existence.  Whew, what a load of weird crap hunh?

I joke about this stuff a lot, those that follow me on Facebook or read my stuff here have seen the arguments with my brother about religion and his absolute and complete belief in his self.  And his bible.  Reality plays no part in his belief, faith covers and explains everything.  I only mention him at this time as a perfect example of someone who believes himself to be right at all costs, and against all argumentative incursions against the reality that he views as the inerrant word of his god.  Of course he, like most believers, only want to live their lives by parts of the bible.  And then explain to us that the book is subject to interpretation as scholars have determined that the meanings of the fables there were written for people living at the time and not for us in our time.  Makes sense, except that should apply to the entire book, and not the sections that they don't want to follow because they realize just how ridiculous it is in modern times.  Nonetheless, my brother, and many such born again, are adamant that they are in fact RIGHT.  I don't argue with my brother anymore, it is a useless exercise and will never achieve anything other than frustration on my part, and perceived victory on his.  But the thing is, that my beliefs do in fact, explain why he feels he is right.  I take no solace in that, I am after all, on a quest for Oneness. 

This short essay was not in any way meant to demean any one's faith in the bible.  I believe that faith is a good thing.  I also believe that an open mind is a lot better way to achieve Oneness than blind faith.