Interviewing Evil
by
Roy Marshall
Those
dark seductive eyes stared across the table at him, luring him into her thoughts.
Unforgiving cries from her consciousness as she chose her words ever so
slowly, deliberately, and replied to his question, "Never once,
never. It just doesn't happen that you consider any other person around
you as something that would have any affect on me. Or for that matter, to
even think that, well, anyone around me is a conscious being. It has
never occurred to me, ever. This concept
that you have explained to me, this Karma, is interesting; certainly something
that gives a reasonable explanation for existence. But it does not give credence to any
suggestion that any person out there, even you, actually has importance."
"And
the fact that all the people around you, everyone that has had interactions
with you from the day you were born, were cognizant beings, capable of
independent thought, actions, love, hate, everything else living people do; has
not had the slightest or remotest bearing on your feelings?" He said
to her.
"How
do I know that they do, have independent thought I mean?"
"I
don't understand. We all have independent thought, free will. The
ability to do what we want, to do good, or not, is what makes us human.
Living humans with free will and the ability to understand our actions set us
apart from the lower forms of life. Yes, to a degree we are motivated by
instinct, but we still have consciousness; and the ability to determine to a
certain degree our future. In fact to consider that we have a future is I
think another concept that sets us apart from other life forms. We
influence our own karma by our choices, our belief in our future and our
ability to see beyond immediacy."
Her
lashes fluttered as she closed her eyes for several moments, then opened them
again revealing the same darkness, that same depth, "No, it doesn't work
that way. If indeed karma is a reality, then as you have explained it,
everything that has happened to me all of my life has been predetermined as a
specific set of circumstances in an attempt to further my existence in my next
life by my actions that are a response to that which is preordained in this one.
These men that I killed, were in fact nothing more than ephemeral beings. Bits of fluff, non-thinking, non-cognizant
non-living things whose existence was based solely on my need to interact with
them. Whether or not they died at my hand is irrelevant. They did
not exist as life as you define it in your world of karma."
She
said all of that with no change in her expression at all. She just
continued to stare at him, beautiful, deadly. The one thing he noticed
about her was that she never once glanced up at the mirror behind him to view
herself. An unusual lack of vanity in such an attractive woman.
Glancing down at the handcuffs that chained her to the heavy metal table, she
did twist and move her wrists around from time to time. Certainly
they must be uncomfortable. Her pale skin was red under the metal.
“It’s
not possible to just dismiss the lives of everyone about you as non-living.”
“Why
not? As I stated, their very existence in this reality is to interact
with me. That’s given as a basic precept of karma. I’m living my
life, but according to you, although I have free will, whatever choices I make
will determine the path of my existential soul after my demise in this
life. Those circumstances presented to me by every person I meet are by
definition, predetermined. Therefore, those beings have no free will; they
are playing out my personal reality in the vast cosmos of my existence.
They are ephemeral. They are of no importance. And some of them
died.”
“Perhaps
you are looking at predetermined circumstances as too inclusive. It isn’t
the entirety of your life as being predetermined. That is just not the
way it is. The circumstances of predestination are pretty much ones of
basic life, you know, are you male, female. Will you be born unto wealth
or squalor? Will you have beauty, or will you be the beast. Things
like that. From there, how you live your life, how you interact with
other people here and now, are what determine your existential path in the
afterlife. Certainly there may be other predetermined events, such as
bearing a mongoloid baby, or having to deal with brutal deaths of people close
to you. How you deal with these things are what make you different, good
or bad, from every other cognizant being.”
“Well
I think that is just a wishful convenience for you Doctor. When you say these
things, I don’t think you’re really listening to yourself. You have just
defined the ephemeral aspect of these beings. You want to give them free will.
But you also state that they exist only to present circumstances to me for the
purpose of my ability to interact with them. You are attempting to force a duality of
existence. You can’t have it both ways Doc, really, which is it?
Are they ephemeral as I believe, or do they have free will, and their choice
was to be mongoloid, or brain dead, or die young by some brutal means as you
stated? Which is it?”
“Well,
that is interesting. The whole basis of predestination does in fact
include a means to test our free will; interaction with persons that die
prematurely, get maimed, or some such other problems happening to them.
How do we know if these tragedies are part of that predetermination or not? Well, I can’t say for sure. I just
believe that everyone that I meet, everyone that I see, every single person on
this planet that is alive, is a thinking cognizant being. Some are not as
intelligent as we would like them all to be, but they do indeed live, and
possess free will.
“Really? Well Doc, that is an interesting
thought. But it does presuppose that you are yourself in fact able to
express free will. There is a conundrum here, if you are anything more
than an ephemeral being that is here to provide nothing more than background
interaction, a cacophony of perceived life forces for me to deal with, then to
what extent is your existence possessing true free will? Or in fact am I
here to provide background interaction, an existence whose sole purpose is to
bestow upon you new concepts and new ideas; then how can you be certain that I
am nothing more than an ephemeral concept, a vision, a creation whose only reason
for existence, if I do indeed exist; is to cause you to think?”
“I
can’t answer that. It falls under the same category as I suppose, belief
in a supreme being. There is no proof, there is just faith. I
believe that you have free will, and that all that I have thought and believed
in my existence up to now proves to me that I too, have free will.”
“I
think that is a cop out Doc. I mean really, when you were ordered to
evaluate me, did you believe that it was just happenstance that our lives have
interconnected. Or do you believe that I am here for one purpose and one
purpose only. And that is to interact with you, perhaps to alter your
thoughts, your beliefs, maybe your fundamental nature.” She said all this as
she stared straight at him, no movement whatsoever in her expression.
“Well
Lorena, I think you have a rather interesting opinion of yourself. You
are but one of many persons of whom I am spending court ordered time
with. I do not now, nor could I ever consider the thought that neither
you, nor I, are not what we appear. People. Just people. Some
make wrong choices, and it is up to me to try to determine what the capacity of
their minds were when those choices were made.”
“Well
Doc, what do you think my capacity was at the time of these, well, alleged
murders?”
“That
isn’t something that I can discuss at this time. We have only talked for
less than an hour so far. I will say this though, I find you charming,
intelligent, quick witted and have an excellent comprehension of new
concepts. That is if it is true that you have never actually talked
about or read anything about karma as you stated.”
“And
that I suppose is something that will be hard for you to accept. I mean I have heard of karma, Buddha,
Confuscious, Hinduism and even Catholicism.
But I have never taken the time, or for that matter had any desire to
learn any of this stuff. Your questions
when we first began our conversation were basically an attempt to find out my
beliefs.”
A
look of startled comprehension came over the doctor’s face, and he began, “Yes,
as you stated then, you have no belief in a supreme being, but you did not want
to be classified as an atheist.
Correct?”
“That’s
right Doc. And let’s face it, I have
found this all very tedious. But when
you brought up this concept of karma, I was intrigued. It does tend to explain to me some things
that I never really considered before.
It explains why I am surrounded by people like you, them,” as she
pointed her hand toward the windows of the cell with uniformed men about, “everyone
else. I have always just thought of the
beings around me as just being drones.
Like male bees, worthless, useless.
Able to provide one thing only, and in their case, just background life
forms for me to utilize as I saw fit.”
“And
none of which are living beings in your view of the world, correct?”
“Well
Doc, I wouldn’t say not living. But
certainly not important.”
“Lorena,
I’m trying to understand where, and also how, you formed your belief
system. How did all of this happen that
you look upon the rest of the world as unimportant.”
She
looked at him with this quizzical expression for half a minute before
beginning, “I think you probably consider me a bit of a hedonist. Most men do.
It is something that I must admit that I agree with. Years ago in college I took some philosophy
courses. Have you ever heard of Jeremy
Bentham? He pioneered the philosophy of
‘felicific calculus’. I think that best
describes my belief system. You know,
how it is that I can justify the murder, sorry, the alleged murder of all of
these men that have been found.”
“Well
I must admit that the name Bentham I’ve heard of, but I’m not certain what his
contributions are.”
“Doc,
he’s my hero. He was a true
hedonist. His philosophy is one that
provides a specific formula for calculating the moral outcome of your actions
based on the degree of anticipated pleasure or pain.”
“Ahh,
Lorena, does this mean that you believe that you have a sense of morality and
that your actions do indeed fit within the moral constraints of society?”
“An
interesting question. First let me say
that morality as you see it is a product of the dictums of society at
large. I, on the other hand, believe
that morals apply to me in a way that serve
my purpose, my precepts of my personal ideal of morality.”
“Well, this is interesting. But I don’t believe it. I think that you’re playing a role, one that
puts you in the center of attention.”
She
interrupted him, “Ah Doc, but don’t we all do that?”
He
thought about it for half a minute before responding, “To a degree. By far the vast majority of people enjoy when
their lives bring them into situations where they are the center. However, I believe that you engineer
opportunities, and in fact if you aren’t the center of all that goes on around
you, then in your mind, you construct your own background world that helps you
to do so. Or at least for you to feel
that you are.”
She
looked at him curiously, “And what brings you to that conclusion?”
“Well
Lorena, remember that I’m a doctor of psychiatry. As I consider what you have going on, I think
it must be exhausting to be you. With
this carefully constructed fantasy world that you have created and having to
exist not only there, but within the fabric of reality. You must be mentally exhausted.”
For
the first time since they began the interview, a slight smile appeared. “Well that is one interpretation. I don’t think you should discount the idea
though that I am just plain bored.
Spending this time has been interesting to me, but don’t forget that
when it comes right down to it, none of this matters to me at all.”
With
a motion from the guard at the window, he knew their time was up for now. Four guards came in and took her away. The doctor sat and thought about all that
this woman had said to him, then he shivered.
She was very scary he decided, smart, and scary. A deadly combination.
The end
Roy, I liked story. Made me think, look up words. Help my english.
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