After weeks of meetings, leaders of Lutheran, Baptist, and virtually all Protestant ministries met with leaders of the the high Jewish council and representatives of the Catholic Church, earlier today they have announced determinations of scientific matters that will affect religious doctrine as well as basic understanding of the universe. Spokespersons for the esteemed group have claimed to have been meeting with a wide range of scientists in the fields of astrophysics, geology, climatology and meteorology. After much heated debate, the leaders of the largest religions in the world have agreed on a number of scientific principles and today announced their findings.
In a landmark decision that has startled followers of the major religions everywhere, the stunning news that the Catholic Church, along with all the other religious elite, have agreed that the planet Earth, of which we are inhabitants; is not the center of the universe. Spokespersons have indicated that after lengthy debate that at times went on for as many as 4 hours a day of intense and exhausting efforts on the part of religious leaders; the questions of how the Earth orbits the actual center of this solar system has been explained to their satisfaction. At this time, there is not confirmation or denial of whether or not our solar system is still considered to be the actual center of the universe, or just one among a large number of solar systems in existence.
It was also announced that the sun, of which is now considered more than a large glowing object in the daytime sky, is in actuality a causative force for weather here on the surface of the Earth. It is no longer to be considered by any religion, that the warmth that is felt when outside is in fact, caused by energy transferring from the sun, to the Earth. This news was heralded by scientists attending the press announcement as a step toward bringing the major religions of the world to at least the 18th century, but that much worked still needs to be done to get Church thinking to the 19th century. No comments were given when asked for a timeline on their arrival into the 21st century. One scientist that was reported to have attended the meetings claimed that Catholic Church officials still refuse to believe that the sun is responsible for a nice warm day and is not an effect of divine intervention. There are rumors that other Church officials were unable to ascertain how during winter months, it could be cold outside even with the sun still up in the sky.
More meetings are planned. Seems they are needed.