Monday, April 22, 2013

I'm the square hole with a round peg in it.

I wanted to make it out to the Renaissance Festival this year, just never seemed to get around to it.  I wanted to go see the Knights at the Round Table, specifically Sir Cumference.  I heard he acquired his extrodinary size from eating too much pi.  But then I was a bit thrown off from going again when the news coverage reported the story about the butcher out there that backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.  But then I can't drive very far anyway, I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out he was an optical Aleutian.  I do want to head to Apache Lake, the news said that a hole was found in the wall to the nudist camp, it was reported that the police have been looking into it.

I have to be careful what I write here, especially after my blog about religion.  People seem to be confused about my beliefs, however much I tell them that Atheism is a non-prophet organization, they seem to get the wrong idea about me.  But I try to stay away from religion, my advice to everyone is don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.  I'm not without knowledge of the subject, not like the cannibals that ate the missionary and got their first taste of religion.  My views here on this blog tend to drift toward politics.  I like to remind everyone about our system of government is rather imperfect, but still in democracy it's your vote that counts, in feudalism it's your Count that votes.

I do seem to write a lot, and friends tell me that anyone can be successful at it if they think differently.  They cite the old axiom that a backward poet writes inverse.  I did read the news this morning about the short fortune teller that escaped from prison, she's a small medium at large.  I do like to look at the bright side of things in life, and often contemplate the chicken that crossed the road, it was poultry in motion.  In my life I have found that there are two theories on how to argue with a woman, neither one works.  One thing I do know with absolute certainty is that everyone seems normal until you get to know them.  And in my personal experience I have found that if I lend someone 20 bucks and I never hear or see them again, I'm better off and it was worth it.  Something else I found and really applied more toward my ex than me and that is that if you tell no lies, you don't have to keep track of a lot of crap.  Speaking of her, I have found this to be very prophetic, experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.  She did teach me one good thing, never miss a chance to just shut up, a closed mouth gathers no foot.  The sad part about that marriage was that I learned too late that because I'm a man I'm automatically at fault.  But then again, hey, if I knew everything, I would be a woman, a really ugly woman.  

I keep introducing my son to women I meet and tell them he is not married.  He doesn't care too much for it when I do that.  Sigh, I would love to have a grandchild, remembering the things that made life simple back in the old days and how fun it would be to experience all that again through their eyes, just think about when -
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whomever was the banker in "Monopoly."
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties
It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people"  rides at the amusement park.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete, unless a new toy was in hand.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

Sigh, just for fun today.  


  1. Roy, i not home for 2 weeks i in america. i see what you writ about ingredents not same as home what is this funny stuff you write??/ very weird for you i like i glad be back home america not what i thought be may be you right about it

  2. Wow Ana, my one faithful reader and you are visiting my country and I did not know. Well I am glad you made it back to Ukraine safely, and now you have seen some of what I talk about with the ingredients being unknown and from a chemistry lab and not really food. I hope that you and yours can keep your country from the slow death we are getting here.
    Thanks Ana,